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How To Be a Mat Carrier for Your Anorexic Child (3)

Here is a third spiritual principle I think about when I read this scripture.

1) A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. 2) So many gathered that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. 3) Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them. 4) Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on. 5) When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.”  (Mark 2: 1-5)

The writer says, “When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.”

The paralytic’s faith is never even mentioned in this story.  We can assume the paralytic believed in Jesus and that is why he would want to be carried to where Jesus was.  So he could be healed.  But we don’t know this from Scripture.

It doesn’t say he begged his friends to carry him to Jesus.  The writer doesn’t tell us anything about this paralyzed man…except that he was paralyzed.  So the only thing we know for sure is he could not have gotten to Jesus on his own power.

The focus of this story is on the friends, the 4 men, the mat carriers.  The writer focuses on their actions and their faith.  They must have had enough faith to go around.

And Jesus knew this and their friend got healed that night!  What a story they had to tell!

Application?  I know you know what it is but I’ll tell you anyway.  Sometimes we need to not only be the mat carriers but the faith bearers.  We have to have faith when no one else does or no matter what the circumstances.

Think about it…what were the chances that this guy was going to get healed that night?  There were no guarantees, get healed or your money back.

Some Jesus chose to heal and some He did not.  I can’t imagine that after one of these healing services there weren’t some who went away asking, “Why didn’t he heal me; he healed so and so?”

The point is these friends believed Jesus would heal their friend.  Their only job was to get him to Jesus and to believe Jesus was able.    They did their part and left the rest up to Him.

“When Jesus saw their faith…”

Are you being a mat carrier and a faith bearer (carrying the shield of faith) for your child and your family?  Pray and ask God for the ability to carry your child to Him and to bear faith for her and her healing from this illness.  No matter what happens.

You are modeling for your child what it looks like to hang onto Jesus and your faith in Him no matter what.   Yes, you want to re-feed her and for her to eat more.  But what could be more important than teaching her how to have faith along the way?

She will learn how to eat again and won’t always need you to feed her.  This will pass.

She needs you to show her how to endure and persevere through suffering.  How to hope and be fed by God Himself so she will look to Him for nourishment for the rest of her life.

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How to Be a Mat Carrier for Your Anorexic Child (2)

Another thought from Mark 2 about being a mat carrier for your ill child.

1) A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. 2) So many gathered that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. 3) Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them. 4) Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on. 5) When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.”  (Mark 2: 1-5)

Verse 4 makes clear that when you are trying to get help for someone, there are obstacles.  The obstacle in this scenario is the crowd.  They can’t get their friend to Jesus because there are too many people in the way.

So what do they do?  Give up?  Nope.  Nothing will deter them from reaching their goal of getting their friend to Jesus.  So, they take drastic measures and climb to the roof.  They dig through the roof above where Jesus is standing.

Now I don’t know how thick the roofs were back then, but my guess is it was not a small task.  They would have to have had the right tools and lots of determination.  I would think there would also be a risk of people who weren’t happy about their task.  This did not deter them either.

They got the hole in the roof and then had to lower him down to Jesus on this mat.  This could not have been easy either.  I’m sure he was somewhat heavy and they had to lower him safely and evenly so as not to drop him off either side of the mat.

I don’t think all of this was easy to accomplish.  It took commitment, love, faith, hope and determination to get this man to Jesus so he could be healed.  They had no guarantee that going to all this trouble was going to result in this man’s healing.

I know you can see the parallel here.  To be a mat carrier for your child; you will need some of the same qualities.  You will need to be as determined, focused, committed and hopeful as they were…if not more.

You have to have faith and hope when your child has none or her faith is weak and discouraged.  You carry her mat and you carry the light of Christ though prayer and modeling these characteristics and beliefs no matter what happens.

Yes, you will need God’s help to do this.  We cannot face serious illness or hardship alone.  At least I know I can’t.  “In Him we live, and move and have our being” (Acts 17: 28).

What character traits do you already possess that you need to use to get your child the help she needs?

What are the character qualities God is developing in you that are going to help you carry your child on her mat to healing?

  • Pray that God will show you what character traits you need strengthened and that He will develop these in you.
  • Pray that He will give you everything you need to be the parent your child needs right now.
  • This is new territory…you have to parent in ways you have never had to parent before.

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Do you want to learn more about eating disorders?

If so, download my free e-book “Eating Disorder Basics for Parents” here http://www.why-my-daughter.com/edb.html

Lynn Moore educates, coaches, and consults parents on how to help their adolescent with eating disorder behavior. She will help you figure out what kind of help you need and what you can do to help your child.


How to Be A Mat Carrier for Your Anorexic Child (1)

I decided the other day to go in a new direction with my blog.  I am going to use this blog for spiritual encouragement for parents and caregivers of those who have eating disorders.  I hope you enjoy and benefit from this new direction I am taking.  I’m looking forward to it!

 

You Are the Mat Carriers

1 A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. 2 So many gathered that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. 3 Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them. 4 Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on. 5 When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.”  (Mark 2: 1-5)

If your child has an eating disorder she cannot get better by herself.  If you wait for her to acknowledge she needs help, that day might never come.

Why is it so difficult for her to admit she has a problem?  She can’t think or see herself clearly because of the lack of nutrition in her body.  The more she starves herself, the less capable she is of knowing the truth.

The man in this scripture was paralyzed.  It doesn’t matter what he tried, he would not have been able to get to Jesus for healing by himself.  He needed people to carry him to Jesus.  He needed others to do what he could not do himself and that is get him help.

Your daughter is very similar.  She cannot get to healing without help.  She needs you to intervene in her behalf .  She needs y0u to be one of her mat carriers; whether she will admit this or not.  Put her on the mat and with the help and support of others; carry her to healing.

Mat carrying is going to look different for different families.  It is up to you to figure out how being your child’s mat carrier applies to your family and your situation.

I’ve given you a spiritual principle.  Now apply scripture to your circumstances.  Pray about how God wants you to help your child.  Look to Him for direction.  He will give you wisdom when you ask.  His Word promises it.  (James 1:5)

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Do you want to learn more about eating disorders?

If so, download my free e-book “Eating Disorder Basics for Parents” here http://www.why-my-daughter.com/edb.html

Lynn Moore educates, coaches, and consults parents on how to help their adolescent with eating disorder behavior. She will help you figure out what kind of help you need and what you can do to help your child.

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You can see all of my published eating disorder articles at http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Lynn_A_Moore

 

 

Am I Being Mean if I Expect My Anorexic Daughter Eat?

When you are re-feeding your daughter at home; there is nothing more important than the meal in front of her. What do I mean by that?  It means everything else gets put aside, postponed or re-scheduled until she has consumed what you put in front of her.

This may sound mean but it isn’t.  What is mean is to let your daughter starve.  And I know you are not a mean parent.

Let’s focus on the concern that you are being mean if you require your child to eat what you put in front her.  When your daughter has an eating disorder there is no medicine for her except food.  No medication exists that will help her eat more and gain weight.

The only thing that will help your ill child heal is to eat more food; whether she wants to or not.  It is difficult for parents to find a way to help their child eat when she starts crying or begging not to eat.  You don’t want her to be in pain or to suffer.

Some kids will cry and beg, others will get angry and abusive, and still others may become aggressive or threaten to engage in self-harming behaviors.  All of these reactions are the eating disorder trying to get you, her parents to back off and not make her take her medicine.

Please hear that if your child threatens self-harm or suicide you must take this seriously.  Remove any unsafe items from your home and monitor her closely.  Seek further professional help if you feel it is necessary or are unsure.

Even after these scary behaviors subside, she still has to eat.  There is no way around it.  She eventually needs to see that no matter what happens she will still have to eat. It is the only thing that will help her get well from this illness.

You will understand this way before she does; her medicine is food.  She needs you to understand this so ED doesn’t win.  One meal at a time, one bite at a time; you will have victory over ED.

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This information is not a substitute for consultation with health care professionals.  Each child’s health issues should be evaluated by a qualified professional.  Never read one article and try to implement what you read without much research and help; either from a coach or therapist.

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Do you want to learn more about eating disorders?

If so, download my free e-book “Eating Disorder Basics for Parents” here http://www.why-my-daughter.com/edb.html.

Lynn Moore educates, coaches, and consults parents on how to help theiradolescent with eating disorder behavior. She will help you figure out what kind of help you need and what you can do to help your child.

Your Anorexic Daughter’s Desire for Wholeness is Reason for Hope

There are reasons for you to have hope if your adolescent has an eating disorder.

1) One reason is there is an effective treatment called The Maudsley Approach;

2) There is truth that replaces the lies of ED.

There is also a third reason:

The human spirit has a desire for wholeness
Before your child developed this illness she was probably full of life, vibrant, funny, creative, and outgoing. This is evidence of her spirit’s desire to live a full and healthy life.

Your challenge is to remember that this pre-eating disorder child is still in there somewhere. It doesn’t matter how far down under the deception of ED she is; the girl you knew is in there.

As difficult as it is; when this new frightened, confused and angry child shows up at the dinner table you have to remember this is not your child. It is the eating disorder rising up to bully, manipulate, and intimidate you so you will not make her eat.

She’s trying to fight her way out
You have to remember that whether you can see her or not, your little girl is doing the best she can to fight her way out. But she can’t do it without your help. ED is too strong, obnoxious, mean, loud and controlling for her to deal with by herself. She needs your help whether she knows it or admits it.

So when you have to “guess who’s coming to dinner,” be prepared for whoever shows up. Your child wants to get well and is crying out inside to be whole again. She just doesn’t know how to get there.

Never, ever forget that deep inside she wants more than anything to be whole and healthy.

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Do you want to learn more about eating disorders?

If so, download my free e-book “Eating Disorder Basics for Parents” here http://www.why-my-daughter.com/edb.html.

Lynn Moore educates, coaches, and consults parents on how to help their adolescent with eating disorder behavior. She will help you figure out what kind of help you need and what you can do to help your child.

Grizzly Bear Parenting and Hope when Your Daughter is Anorexic

Why can you stay hopeful when it seems like all the odds are against you and your child? There are a lot of reasons why you can hope and we’ll just talk about one. Here it is:

Love and grizzly bear parenting is stronger than ED (eating disorder).

I know girls, women, boys and men die from eating disorders. Believe me, I’ve read the statistics. I also know we can’t live life with our heads in the sand thinking, “It will never happen to me.”

But I also know the power of love and the “mama and papa bear” that comes out in parents when their child is ill or in danger. It is that strong, grizzly, powerful love and protection that is going to help you help your daughter whether she believes she needs it or not.

In the past parents have been sidelined when it comes to helping their eating disordered children. You may have been placed in the periphery of your child’s treatment. I don’t have research to back this up; but parent’s lack of involvement could be part of why treatment has been less than effective over the years.

Thankfully that is changing. The Maudsley Approach is becoming more respected as the treatment of choice if you have a teenage anorexic daughter or son. Research is showing it is more effective than individual therapy and recovery rates are impressive to say the least.

You can have hope because there is a form of treatment that empowers you as a parent. The Maudsley Approach gives you permission to allow the mama and papa bear in you to come out; not toward your daughter but directed at the eating disorder. She needs you to get grizzly toward ED so you can save her life.

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Do you want to learn more about eating disorders?

If so, download my free e-book “Eating Disorder Basics for Parents” here http://www.why-my-daughter.com/edb.html

Lynn Moore educates, coaches, and consults parents on how to help their adolescent with eating disorder behavior. She will help you figure out what kind of help you need and what you can do to help your child.

Diet Pepsi’s “Skinny Can” Debate

Many of you probably know about this but I am going to give you the link to the Wall Street Journal article in case you haven’t.  The long and short of it is; Diet Pepsi has come out with what they are calling a “skinny” can and it is being launched at New York’s fashion week.

Many say, “Its just a can.”  And you will read other arguments as well.  Here is the article link.

http://blogs.wsj.com/health/2011/02/15/diet-pepsis-skinny-can-campaign-riles-eating-disorders-group/tab/comments/#comment-1087318

I’d encourage you to put your 2 cents in but believe me your opinion on this is worth far more than that!

This was my response.

“’It’s the Diet Pepsi media campaign that’s the problem, she says. The campaign celebrates being skinny and suggests that strong, confident women must be so.’” And that it is “being paired with fashion week” is the problem.

For those who see this as ridiculous and that it is just about a can shows how much we have bought into the cultural “norms.” We are unknowingly brainwashed to the point that we don’t even think for ourselves about possible consequences to others. We just inhale whatever the marketers, money makers and media say.

Anyone who does “think” about the impact of a given marketing ploy on other people, no matter how large or small the percentage of those impacted, are ridiculed and are sarcastically deemed stupid. After all, if it doesn’t affect me, then who cares right? That’s your problem.

What has happened to compassion and empathy in our society? Other companies have come out with these taller and “skinnier” cans but there was no reference made to body image. It was marketing without an agenda for body size and appearance.

Pepsi needs to take an empathy class I guess and I personally am glad I don’t use that brand. If I did, I’d be switching to diet coke or nothing at all.”

Go Make Your Voice Known!  There are many young women and men suffering from eating disorders right now who do not yet have a voice.  The only voice they hear is the voice of the eating disorder.

Be their voice!  Take a stand for the sake of our young people and the impact this kind of culture shaping marketing has on them.  I’ll get off my soap box now.  What’s that country song lyric, “You have to stand for something, or you’ll fall for anything.”

Go to this Wall Street Journal link and take a stand.  Be the voice of those who are too ill to speak.  Protect future generations from the cultural crap they are being fed on a daily basis!

Lynn