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Archive for March, 2011

All We Need to Know Is In His Word

“Now as Jesus was going up to Jerusalem, he took the twelve disciples aside and said to them, 18 “We are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be betrayed to the chief priests and the teachers of the law. They will condemn him to death 19 and will turn him over to the Gentiles to be mocked and flogged and crucified. On the third day he will be raised to life!” Mk 20:17-19

It was surprising to me as I read this scripture today that I had never thought about how much detail Jesus gave His disciples about his pending death.  You’ll notice in Mark 18 and 19 He told them where they were going, who would be involved and what was going to happen to Him.

My first thought was, “I wish God would give me these kinds of details about what is going to happen in my life.” Wouldn’t it be nice if Jesus told us the amount of detail he gave to the disciples?

I make an assumption that having details about my future will make a difference in how I deal with it.  Also that it will impact how I will feel about the circumstances.

As I look deeper into this scripture and others that involve Jesus and His disciples; I realize that having these details really didn’t make a big difference with how the disciples reacted.  Jesus told them what was about to happen and they still did not handle it well.  Ultimately they all abandoned Him.

So it makes me wonder; would it really make a difference if I knew more?  From the disciples experience, not that much I don’t  think.

The more I considered this the more I started thinking I guess He did give us a lot of information.  All the information we need to know is in His Word.  He didn’t give us detail in terms of what we would suffer specifically.

He told us we would have trouble; there would be hardship and suffering.  He gave us His Word so we would know these things and not be surprised when we faced difficulty.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds…(James 2:1)

In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials (1 Peter 1:6).

When you have a child with an eating disorder you may suffer quietly.  Others don’t know about how painful and frightening it is to watch your daughter try to starve herself.

Even though you couldn’t imagine this would ever happen to you; God knew.  No amount of information would have made this hurt any less or help you deal with it better.  It just is and you are dealing with it the best you can one day at a time.

Jesus gave the disciples what they needed to know; and He gives us what we need to know as well.  We must trust Him that we know enough to get through this and He will help us with what we don’t yet know.

 

God is Our First Line of Defense

When they went across the lake, the disciples forgot to take bread. 6 “Be careful,” Jesus said to them. “Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.” 7 They discussed this among themselves and said, “It is because we didn’t bring any bread.” 8 Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked, “You of little faith, why are you talking among yourselves about having no bread? 9 Do you still not understand? Don’t you remember the five loaves for the five thousand, and how many basketfuls you gathered? 10 Or the seven loaves for the four thousand, and how many basketfuls you gathered? 11 How is it you don’t understand that I was not talking to you about bread? But be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.” 12 Then they understood that he was not telling them to guard against the yeast used in bread, but against the teaching of the Pharisees and Sadducees.

I wonder how often Jesus heard these little side discussions his disciples had with one another?  I wonder how often they got it wrong when the disciples, “discussed this among themselves”?

I know I do this.  I have a question or thought about something and instead of going first to the One who has all the answers, I call a friend or talk with my husband first.

I wonder if God, like Jesus in this scripture, is quietly listening and thinking, “Lynn, why don’t you ask Me?  I already have the answer.”  On and on I go conversing, stewing, evaluating and then if that doesn’t work I might go to God.

This is not something I like to admit but at times it is true.  Not always, but probably more often than I care to think about.

I don’t know this for sure, but I think Jesus wanted his disciples to ask him what he meant when they didn’t understand something he said.  Jesus knew how little they understood, how out of their element they were, how radically different his teaching was from everything else they had ever been taught.

I can think of multiple times in scripture when the disciples asked Jesus to clarify or interpret for them something he said.  After all they were his disciples; the purpose of their relationship with Him was to learn so they could continue what He began after He was gone.

My guess is Jesus had a similar policy that many teachers have and that is, “there is no dumb question.”  Ask anything.

So all of this to say, your child is ill and you are scared and don’t always know what to do.  My encouragement to you and to me is to go to Jesus first, not last with your questions, thoughts and emotions.

Yes, God gives us qualified people from whom to seek counsel and we should utilize them at whatever level it is necessary.  Scripture refers to seeking the counsel of the wise.

But I think in His mind it is a given that we always go to Him first.  He is our first line of defense, not our last.  Then once we have done that; we are more likely to hear or sense what direction to go and whose counsel to seek.

What do you need to take to God right now that you have been holding onto or are seeking the counsel of humans first?

Make God your first line of defense.  He will not let you down.  He will not let me down.  All we have to do is ask.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” (James 1:5)

Spiritual Amnesia

When they went across the lake, the disciples forgot to take bread. 6 “Be careful,” Jesus said to them. “Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.” 7 They discussed this among themselves and said, “It is because we didn’t bring any bread.” 8 Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked, “You of little faith, why are you talking among yourselves about having no bread? 9 Do you still not understand? Don’t you remember the five loaves for the five thousand, and how many basketfuls you gathered? 10 Or the seven loaves for the four thousand, and how many basketfuls you gathered? 11 How is it you don’t understand that I was not talking to you about bread? But be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.” 12 Then they understood that he was not telling them to guard against the yeast used in bread, but against the teaching of the Pharisees and Sadducees.

At times the disciples seem to be so dense to us.  Here Jesus had done all these miracles including the feeding of the five thousand and the four thousand; and they were still worried about bread!

I would like to think that if I were one of the disciples I would have been more astute.  But most likely I wouldn’t have been.  Just like I would like to think I would have made a better decision than Eve did in the garden.  Again, probably I wouldn’t have.

Once again, Jesus is pointing out the disciples’ lack of faith.  I wonder how often He would point out my lack of faith and remind me of all the ways He has been faithful to me.  Probably more times than I could count.

Just like the disciples, I forget what God has done for me.  I am faced with an obstacle and almost immediately have spiritual amnesia.

Does that ever happen to you?  This happens to all of us because we are human and fallible.  When your child develops anorexia it is difficult to hang onto faith.  The immediate question is, “Why did this happen to us?”

When your child is ill, it is more difficult to remember God’s faithfulness.  You are frightened and confused.

But God wants us to remember all the times He has been faithful and has provided for us.  That’s why Jesus reminds the disciples of the miracles because they had forgotten or weren’t able to transfer that information from one experience to another.

Even as I write this God is quietly reminding me of all He has done for me.  My concerns today are in His hands and He has always been faithful.

What events are God whispering in your ear right now?  I would encourage you to write down all the ways God has taken care of you and provided for you in the past.  It is a great exercise you can go back to over and over as your family goes through the recovery process.



How To Be a Mat Carrier for Your Anorexic Child (3)

Here is a third spiritual principle I think about when I read this scripture.

1) A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. 2) So many gathered that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. 3) Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them. 4) Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on. 5) When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.”  (Mark 2: 1-5)

The writer says, “When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.”

The paralytic’s faith is never even mentioned in this story.  We can assume the paralytic believed in Jesus and that is why he would want to be carried to where Jesus was.  So he could be healed.  But we don’t know this from Scripture.

It doesn’t say he begged his friends to carry him to Jesus.  The writer doesn’t tell us anything about this paralyzed man…except that he was paralyzed.  So the only thing we know for sure is he could not have gotten to Jesus on his own power.

The focus of this story is on the friends, the 4 men, the mat carriers.  The writer focuses on their actions and their faith.  They must have had enough faith to go around.

And Jesus knew this and their friend got healed that night!  What a story they had to tell!

Application?  I know you know what it is but I’ll tell you anyway.  Sometimes we need to not only be the mat carriers but the faith bearers.  We have to have faith when no one else does or no matter what the circumstances.

Think about it…what were the chances that this guy was going to get healed that night?  There were no guarantees, get healed or your money back.

Some Jesus chose to heal and some He did not.  I can’t imagine that after one of these healing services there weren’t some who went away asking, “Why didn’t he heal me; he healed so and so?”

The point is these friends believed Jesus would heal their friend.  Their only job was to get him to Jesus and to believe Jesus was able.    They did their part and left the rest up to Him.

“When Jesus saw their faith…”

Are you being a mat carrier and a faith bearer (carrying the shield of faith) for your child and your family?  Pray and ask God for the ability to carry your child to Him and to bear faith for her and her healing from this illness.  No matter what happens.

You are modeling for your child what it looks like to hang onto Jesus and your faith in Him no matter what.   Yes, you want to re-feed her and for her to eat more.  But what could be more important than teaching her how to have faith along the way?

She will learn how to eat again and won’t always need you to feed her.  This will pass.

She needs you to show her how to endure and persevere through suffering.  How to hope and be fed by God Himself so she will look to Him for nourishment for the rest of her life.

How to Be a Mat Carrier for Your Anorexic Child (2)

Another thought from Mark 2 about being a mat carrier for your ill child.

1) A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. 2) So many gathered that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. 3) Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them. 4) Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on. 5) When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.”  (Mark 2: 1-5)

Verse 4 makes clear that when you are trying to get help for someone, there are obstacles.  The obstacle in this scenario is the crowd.  They can’t get their friend to Jesus because there are too many people in the way.

So what do they do?  Give up?  Nope.  Nothing will deter them from reaching their goal of getting their friend to Jesus.  So, they take drastic measures and climb to the roof.  They dig through the roof above where Jesus is standing.

Now I don’t know how thick the roofs were back then, but my guess is it was not a small task.  They would have to have had the right tools and lots of determination.  I would think there would also be a risk of people who weren’t happy about their task.  This did not deter them either.

They got the hole in the roof and then had to lower him down to Jesus on this mat.  This could not have been easy either.  I’m sure he was somewhat heavy and they had to lower him safely and evenly so as not to drop him off either side of the mat.

I don’t think all of this was easy to accomplish.  It took commitment, love, faith, hope and determination to get this man to Jesus so he could be healed.  They had no guarantee that going to all this trouble was going to result in this man’s healing.

I know you can see the parallel here.  To be a mat carrier for your child; you will need some of the same qualities.  You will need to be as determined, focused, committed and hopeful as they were…if not more.

You have to have faith and hope when your child has none or her faith is weak and discouraged.  You carry her mat and you carry the light of Christ though prayer and modeling these characteristics and beliefs no matter what happens.

Yes, you will need God’s help to do this.  We cannot face serious illness or hardship alone.  At least I know I can’t.  “In Him we live, and move and have our being” (Acts 17: 28).

What character traits do you already possess that you need to use to get your child the help she needs?

What are the character qualities God is developing in you that are going to help you carry your child on her mat to healing?

  • Pray that God will show you what character traits you need strengthened and that He will develop these in you.
  • Pray that He will give you everything you need to be the parent your child needs right now.
  • This is new territory…you have to parent in ways you have never had to parent before.

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Do you want to learn more about eating disorders?

If so, download my free e-book “Eating Disorder Basics for Parents” here http://www.why-my-daughter.com/edb.html

Lynn Moore educates, coaches, and consults parents on how to help their adolescent with eating disorder behavior. She will help you figure out what kind of help you need and what you can do to help your child.


How to Be A Mat Carrier for Your Anorexic Child (1)

I decided the other day to go in a new direction with my blog.  I am going to use this blog for spiritual encouragement for parents and caregivers of those who have eating disorders.  I hope you enjoy and benefit from this new direction I am taking.  I’m looking forward to it!

 

You Are the Mat Carriers

1 A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. 2 So many gathered that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. 3 Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them. 4 Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on. 5 When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.”  (Mark 2: 1-5)

If your child has an eating disorder she cannot get better by herself.  If you wait for her to acknowledge she needs help, that day might never come.

Why is it so difficult for her to admit she has a problem?  She can’t think or see herself clearly because of the lack of nutrition in her body.  The more she starves herself, the less capable she is of knowing the truth.

The man in this scripture was paralyzed.  It doesn’t matter what he tried, he would not have been able to get to Jesus for healing by himself.  He needed people to carry him to Jesus.  He needed others to do what he could not do himself and that is get him help.

Your daughter is very similar.  She cannot get to healing without help.  She needs you to intervene in her behalf .  She needs y0u to be one of her mat carriers; whether she will admit this or not.  Put her on the mat and with the help and support of others; carry her to healing.

Mat carrying is going to look different for different families.  It is up to you to figure out how being your child’s mat carrier applies to your family and your situation.

I’ve given you a spiritual principle.  Now apply scripture to your circumstances.  Pray about how God wants you to help your child.  Look to Him for direction.  He will give you wisdom when you ask.  His Word promises it.  (James 1:5)

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Do you want to learn more about eating disorders?

If so, download my free e-book “Eating Disorder Basics for Parents” here http://www.why-my-daughter.com/edb.html

Lynn Moore educates, coaches, and consults parents on how to help their adolescent with eating disorder behavior. She will help you figure out what kind of help you need and what you can do to help your child.

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You can see all of my published eating disorder articles at http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Lynn_A_Moore

 

 

Am I Being Mean if I Expect My Anorexic Daughter Eat?

When you are re-feeding your daughter at home; there is nothing more important than the meal in front of her. What do I mean by that?  It means everything else gets put aside, postponed or re-scheduled until she has consumed what you put in front of her.

This may sound mean but it isn’t.  What is mean is to let your daughter starve.  And I know you are not a mean parent.

Let’s focus on the concern that you are being mean if you require your child to eat what you put in front her.  When your daughter has an eating disorder there is no medicine for her except food.  No medication exists that will help her eat more and gain weight.

The only thing that will help your ill child heal is to eat more food; whether she wants to or not.  It is difficult for parents to find a way to help their child eat when she starts crying or begging not to eat.  You don’t want her to be in pain or to suffer.

Some kids will cry and beg, others will get angry and abusive, and still others may become aggressive or threaten to engage in self-harming behaviors.  All of these reactions are the eating disorder trying to get you, her parents to back off and not make her take her medicine.

Please hear that if your child threatens self-harm or suicide you must take this seriously.  Remove any unsafe items from your home and monitor her closely.  Seek further professional help if you feel it is necessary or are unsure.

Even after these scary behaviors subside, she still has to eat.  There is no way around it.  She eventually needs to see that no matter what happens she will still have to eat. It is the only thing that will help her get well from this illness.

You will understand this way before she does; her medicine is food.  She needs you to understand this so ED doesn’t win.  One meal at a time, one bite at a time; you will have victory over ED.

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This information is not a substitute for consultation with health care professionals.  Each child’s health issues should be evaluated by a qualified professional.  Never read one article and try to implement what you read without much research and help; either from a coach or therapist.

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Do you want to learn more about eating disorders?

If so, download my free e-book “Eating Disorder Basics for Parents” here http://www.why-my-daughter.com/edb.html.

Lynn Moore educates, coaches, and consults parents on how to help theiradolescent with eating disorder behavior. She will help you figure out what kind of help you need and what you can do to help your child.