I’ve talked for 2 days about the importance of dealing with ambivalent thoughts and the emotion that goes along with it. Why do I think it is a key part of the early phase of the eating disorder? Because it is partly what keeps you on the fence and unable to move forward.
You tell yourself or someone else, “I’ll do better tomorrow.” And at the time you say it you really believe it. You do want to do better. The next day comes, however, and you don’t do better. You might even do worse.
This is the ambivalence.
- Yes I want to get better so I’ll eat. Or I won’t purge.
- No I don’t want to get better; I am fine.
- Maybe I want to get better; I just don’t know.
My suggestion is to answer some questions that will help you evaluate your current relationship with ED. No relationship that causes such pain has to continue forever. I know you feel like you don’t have a choice; but it can’t hurt to look ED directly in the eye. He can take it.
I am giving you all three questions; the ones from the first 2 blogs and today’s question.
How confused are you about your feelings for ED?
How much did you think about or worry losing your independence by being involved with ED?
How ambivalent or confused are you about continuing in your relationship with ED?
Again, I would encourage you to write about this in your journal and talk to someone you trust about it. It is important to put these thoughts and emotions into words with someone who cares about you.
Do you want to learn more about eating disorders?
If so, download my free e-book “Eating Disorder Basics for Parents” here http://www.why-my-daughter.com/edb.html