I so love these scriptures from Job (see below). They are such a good reminder that I am not God. He allows many things I do not understand and if I were “God for a day” I would certainly do it differently (thankfully I am not).
But my ways are not God’s ways. My best thinking and actions have gotten me no where. I’m sure you can identify some not so good places where your best thinking and actions have gotten you also.
Mine resulted in marrying too young and then being left at the age of 23. My life was barely starting and I felt like it was already over. Thus began the early years of my depression.
But here’s the thing…even though my best thinking got me in a world of hurt; it also resulted in my finding out I needed a Savior. I needed Jesus to come in and wipe my canvas clean.
Because of my realization that my ways were not going to work, God used it to bring me to Him. And I wouldn’t trade that for anything. Certainly I wish I could have found this out in an easier, less painful way.
The important thing is I learned it and I have never been alone since. And I have learned that only God is trustworthy, not me. God is wise, I am not. My wisdom comes only through Him.
If you are a parent who has a child with an eating disorder; I know you wish that God was not allowing this pain in your life and in the life of your child and family. How could you not feel that way?
God is bigger than all you are suffering right now. He directs the lightening, he counts the clouds as well as the hair on your child’s head and He has given you a heart with wisdom and an understanding mind.
You can trust Him with what you are facing because for reasons we cannot understand it flows through His hand. Nothing happens that He does not know about or sanction in some way. All you have to do is read the first few chapters of Job and that truth becomes clear.
Job 38: 34-38
34 “Can you raise your voice to the clouds and cover yourself with a flood of water? 35 Do you send the lightning bolts on their way? Do they report to you, ‘Here we are’? 36 Who endowed the heart with wisdom or gave understanding to the mind ? 37 Who has the wisdom to count the clouds? Who can tip over the water jars of the heavens 38 when the dust becomes hard and the clods of earth stick together?”
Help me submit to Your will and not demand mine. Help me trust You even when it feels like You have turned away from me and aren’t answering my prayers for the healing of my child. Help me never give up on my child, his healing, my family and most of all You Lord.